


Hair

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Series: Nikaido Raku [1]
Category: Handa-kun! (Anime)
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 23:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: Nikaido considers coming out.





	Hair

Nikaido looked at herself in the floor-length mirror in her room. She ran a brush through her long, light brown hair. Well, perhaps 'long' wasn't the right word - but it was certainly long enough that people had to glance twice to realize her biological gender. It was something she tended to get teased about by the guys at school, but she used to dismiss it, saying that it was how she was recognized as a model. Saying that it was her 'trademark'.

Now she had no excuse. She had quit being a model, thanks to Handa opening her eyes. She hadn't considered until it was too late that she would lose her excuse for longer hair.

Now, it was either come out, or chop it off. She sat the brush down on her bed, and fingered the light brown locks, a frown tugging at her lips. She was so attached to her hair - it was one of few things, aside from the cardigan and shirt she wore to school instead of the regular school top, that kept people from immediately calling her a boy.

She glanced over to the clothes she'd laid out the night before, having hoped desperately, as she did every night, that today would be the day she'd find her courage. The top was her white shirt and brown cardigan, of course, but instead of her school pants, the bottom was a skirt. She walked over to it and lifted the skirt to her hips, then spun towards her floor-length mirror to see how she looked.

She couldn't help but smile at the sight. Despite her nerves, she loved the sight of herself in a skirt. She took in a shaking breath, and slowly tugged it on.

She gave a twirl, keeping her eyes on the mirror. Her eyes sparkled at the way the skirt fanned out.

If only her chest weren't so flat... She let out a soft sigh. That couldn't be helped until she went on hormones. Dismissing the thought, pulled on her shirt and cardigan.

As she was about to leave her home, slipping on her shoes, she hesitated, staring at the door. She looked at it, as though it were something more than a door. Rather, it was a wall between herself and the life she wanted. The life where people immediately referred to her as a girl, the life where people knew her by Nikaido Raku instead of Nikaido Reo.

Would it really be so bad to chop off her hair, she wondered? Once more, she lifted a hand to toy with the ends of it. Yes, it was the only thing she had to tie her to her identity in this body... But plenty of girls had short hair. They called it a pixie cut, right?

But... But no one outside her family would call her by the right pronouns, if she just went and chopped off her hair, pulled on her pants, then left the house. They would continue thinking she was a guy.

And that... That hurt. And the only reason they thought that way now was because they didn't know. Her family knew, and they took special care to call her the proper terms. But at school, no one knew, and so she wasn't afforded that luxury.

"I have no choice," she whispered, placing a hand on the doorknob, forcing herself to stand as though she had some sort of confidence. "If I want to be treated like that, I have to come out. I have to tell people that I'm a girl. That's how it works."

So, she turned the knob, and stepped out.


End file.
